You are like the Buzzing of Flies to Him!

I'm sitting in my Public International Law class right now. It is my third attempt to take a worthwhile class on international law and, after a month, seems poised to be almost as much a failure as the previous two.

My regular professor, Ikechi Mgbeoji, is away this week. The LL.M candidate lecturing in his place is a female version of Dr. Janosz Poha from Ghostbusters II.

It's fortunate that the lecture has a corresponding Power Point slideshow, because I have no idea what Janosz is talking about; probably how Vigo (the scourge of Carpathia and the sorrow of Moldavia) flaunted international custom. The girl sitting in front of me evidently can't follow along either, because she's copying pictures from fashion blogs and uploading them to her Tumblr for some reason.

O, girl who sits in front of me, you are perversely captivating: you look like a disaster, with your hair bleached too many times, until it has the texture of a horse's mane (or at least appears to--I'm not stroking it); with your grunge-y clothes and sloppy giant purse; with your indifference toward your lectures and your surroundings¹, manifested in frequent tardiness and a perpetual hunch; and yet--cumulatively these affectations compose a picture of wealth. How can this be? And how do I find your Tumblr?

But I didn't come here to ruminate on the elegance of my classmates; I came to learn about International Law, and as usual that seems less likely to occur with each passing moment.

Now I must gird myself to make a conspicuous departure.

¹ _{can't argue with you there}